Disappointment

How does Lindsay Jacobellis deal with falling off course after practicing for 4 years to get back to the olympics?

How do those who can't have children and so desperately want them come to grips with the reality that they might never bear their own child?

How does one give up a part of who they are and try to recreate what defines and motivates them?
When life changes forever, how do you recreate the image and goals you have for your life?

Questions like these have been running through my mind this week.

I know that life hands each of us disappointments. Some are small (I really wanted to go to the park today and it is raining). Some are big (not landing that job you really wanted) and some seems too big to handle.
This might not seem like a big deal to you, and maybe I am over reacting (What? JAMIE? over react??? NO . . .) But on Monday after a stationary bike work out, my back started hurting and got worse and worse. By Tuesday I could barely walk. The bad part is that this has happened twice in the last 9 months . . . all after different events, but pain in the exact same location. I have a bulged disc in my lower back. This shouldn't be a big deal, except that I tried SO hard to rest for 4 months so that it would get better. It about killed me to stop running, stop competing and try to wait for it to get better. I decided if I was feeling good I would start working out again in January. I started to train for a triathlon so that I was only running a couple time a week. I started slow, tried to stretch well and listened to my body. Apparently, it was enough.
The doctor and Chiropractor have both mentioned that this could be a life long problem. Being in pain and having to put training on hold is difficult, but thinking that I may NEVER train for anything again, or that I may never be able to run again is almost impossible to get a grasp on.

Like I said, it might not mean much to you, but take the one thing you feel defines you. Something that motivates you and when people ask what your hobbies are, they are all in this category. The top three words that describe you all are defined by this activity. Then say you could never do it again. You were forced to give it up . . . forever. How do you grasp this new reality and re-define who you are?
I love being active, athletic, energetic and a do-it-all type. Now I can't even lift a box to set up for my PE class.

Once again, I realize there are MUCH worse things that could happen. I follow a blog about a woman (Stephanie) who was in a plane accident and burned most of her body. She will never look the same again. Although she is grateful to be alive, she is daily trying to come to grips with her new "look" and all the things she may never be able to do again (like hold her children).
she has had to recreate her entire life and dreams for the future. I know it was a process for her (and still is).So I pose this question to you:
When you are disappointed, big or small, how do you accept the reality that life has changed? What do you find to give you motivation to keep going?

Jumping JACKS

He might have failed his fine motor skills, but this puppy is AMAZING at his gross locomotor skills- LOOK AT THAT HEIGHT!

Sorry about the very silly noises I am making, but it made him laugh really hard and I have realized that as a mother, you do anything to hear that happiness!

Body Parts

Sorry the videography is SO terrible, I was holding the camera at arms length. But once again, the ending is great!

Dancing Queen

We love jamming to ABBA!

And the crowd goes wild

Hey folks, if you are just joining us, what a game we are watching here!

It is the BYU intramural women's basketball and the MBA trophy wives are down 21-19. The tall, lanky one in the middle, just brought down a rebound and was fouled so the MBA wives have the ball on the other side of the court with 8 seconds left.

Here they go . . .

They pass into the guard.

She dribbles around the defense with incredible skill and control.

The fans are counting down 3 . . . 2 . . .

She takes a 3 pointer and everyone waits in anticipation . . .

but wait, the buzzer isn't going off . . .

the 3 pointer bounces out . . .

The long, gangly one grabs the rebound and shoots it up again . . .

the buzzers sounds as the ball bounces off the back of the rim, now it bounces off the front of the rim, and the back of the rim again . . .

AND IT GOES THROUGH THE NET!

The crowd (the long, lanky one) goes wild.

She made the game-not-losing-shot at the buzzer!

(and since it was BYU intramurals it really did end in a tie, but that was our first 'not loss')

Dave is amazing and is always key in winning his intramural and church ball games. I, on the other hand, have to relish the one good play I have ever made in my life (the buzzer shot I made last night).

Here is Dave dunking in his younger days . . . JOE-ENJOY!

Evil Knievil

Look at how he dares to jump the vast distance to the floor . . . simply amazing

Now don't you feel Silly!

Like Father like Son . . .

I've been cheating on my blog

Another reason I have been ignoring my blog is because I've found a new digital love that seems to consume my time on the computer. I am really enjoying designing scrapbook pages on photoshop. I like doing different challenges and speed scraps on scrapmatters.com.






I was also just asked to join a CT (Creative Team) which means the designer gives you a kit she has made and you create a layout to showcase or display their kit. I have only gotten one kit, but I was so excited I finished a layout only 2 hours after receiving the kit. This one is displayed on iscrapbook.com.

If you are interested in seeing my gallery here is a link. I think I am improving, but still have a long way to go as I look at the layouts of so many other talented and creative ladies!

Failure to Thrive

Every mother wants to blog about how fantastic and extra-ordinary her child it. Thus, when Jackson failed his 18 month check up, I didn't much feel like blogging about it.

How exactly does one FAIL a check up?

Well, first off, your height shrinks. . . . yep, Jackson was shorter than the last time they measured him (3 months ago). We were so proud he finally jumped above average in the height category only to be shoved down once again.

Next, your head gets bigger (jumping from the 25th percentile to the 47th percentile) TOO quickly.

Finally, on the 3rd measurement, you realize that you only gained 1 OUNCE in the last 3 months.

And this is only in the physical categories.

Your mother also has to take a "test" to see how you are doing with your locomotor, gross, fine, language and cognitive development. You happen to be blessed with a mother who would rather under-estimate just to be safe rather than brag you up. Thus, the results of the test? Under-developed in fine motor skills and language development.

Your overly questioning mother also notes a concern about speech development which spurs the doctor to ask to get your hearing checked.

In other words, we have to re-take the test in 6 weeks :(

Sorry little buddy! It's my fault, not yours!

I know, I know, he is just fine and I shouldn't worry, but if you were the mom it would be your job to worry. So reassure me all you want, but I will still be trying my best to make this guy healthy and developing normal (or above the pack)

P.S. Pictures were taken at the Discovery Gateway Center, Jan 25, 2009 - possibly the BEST day in Jackson's life thus far.

Dear Blog . . . I'm sorry

I'm sorry that I was giving you the silent treatment, but here are all the reasons you deserved it.

You make me feel insecure when you point out how boring, uninteresting and uncreative my life is.

I feel like you demand so much when you want me to have pictures AND a story AND do it in a creative way.

You never listen to me and respond! You just sit there leaving no comments on the deep-felt emotions of my heart.

I feel really hurt when you won't let others view my videos.

I am SICK and TIRED of having my computers crash, losing my data and having no access to the internet.

(For those of you wondering if I have been too 'sick' or 'tired' to post, unfortunately my sick and tired were for those reasons and not something more exciting :) )

To be honest, you have been on my mind and I have decided that I forgive you of all of your faults. . . . lets never fight again!