Night #3 . . . I'm a believer!!!

I can't believe how dramatically improved last night was!!  I woke up at 4:30 and hadn't heard a thing.  I started having those terrible images that no mother should ever have of the blanket wrapped around her head or something more dramatic.  Anyway, I couldn't get back to sleep, so I opened her door a crack and she started crying, but it only last 10 mins and then she slept until 6:30 and woke up happy.  I wonder if she could've slept through the night if I didn't wake her!  I am really shocked!  I didn't think it would work . . . and so quickly.  (I'll admit I am a little skeptical, but I'll take a solid 5 hour block of sleep for me at this point!)

The morning was wonderful as well.  Hallie ate TWO bites of rice cereal (albeit mixed with vanilla ice cream) and then 1/2 jar of squash (her first vegetables in over a week!) AND her usual jar of bananas.  Then she went to sleep for her nap without a peep.  I am so hoping this gets to be 'normal'!  So enjoyable!

The benefits of a waterproof camera!  Hallie will not perform once the camera is on.  She was making the silliest faces, but once she sees the camera she gets determined (you'll see it in her eyes)

Night #2

Thanks for the encouragement . . . On night #2 I have a little hope because I got better (i.e. I slept through more of her crying :)
3:15 Crying begins .  . . goes straight to the very angry cry alot sooner than previous night, however, there are also many pauses and whines between the strong cries so I think she is going to sleep
4:25  Finally, asleep (I'm not sure exactly when this happened, because I feel asleep probably around the same time she did - I checked on her at 5:00 and she was completely out without the hiccup-like breathing)
5:30 She cried again for 20 mins
6:30 Up for the day - STARVING but happy after eating

So that is a total of 8 hours of sleep which really does NOT cut it for a baby.
(Truth be told, Jackson went to sleep at 10:30 - [don't even ask - we had a major fight and I was up talking with Dave about how to parent this kid for another hour after he went to sleep] and was up for the day at 6:45 - how does one 3 year old survive with only  8 hours of sleep and no naps? )

So is that better?  She cried less TIME each time, but was up 3 times before 'morning'.
Only a few more days until she 'gets it' or I give up . . . . :)

All tuckered out on our walk

Oh, yes, Hallie has a 'new' trick.  She learned to pull up to standing last Thursday and does it A LOT now.  She loves to be up on her feet and will even crawl more like a bear crawl to avoid her knees.

Here's my happy girl making funny faces (Daddy is taking video, blame him for the nudity :) )

Cry-it -out . . . Night 1

At two months old, Hallie slept through the night . . . and I mean 12 hours, never waking up.  It was an amazing blessing to help me get back to work!  After 2 weeks of consistently sleeping through, she started getting up.  I was totally fine with that.  I enjoy night feedings and she goes right back to sleep.  However, we're going on month 7 of getting up consistently at 3 am and 5 am.  I always feel like she must be starving at the 3 am waking so I feed her and she goes right back to sleep.  But at 5 am I know she isn't hungry (she doesn't eat that close together during the day!) but I just can't let her cry because I'm worried it will wake up Jackson (and it has!)  So I feed her again.  Sometimes she will go back to sleep, sometimes not.  I decided not to worry about it and just continue to do 2 night feedings until she is ready to give it up.  But the last few nights it has turned into 12 am, 3 am and then up at 5 am for the day.  It is exhausting to never get more than 2-3 hours of sleep at a time.  Plus, I am a wreck in the day trying to help my toddler  -and   she can catch up with naps, I can't because my 3 year old won't take a nap . . .
Anyway, that was the background.  Dave has been ready to let her 'cry it out' for a few months now.  So I decided I would try it.  The reason I am wishy-washy about doing it, is that I'm not convinced it will work. All this crying and lack of sleep and she will not actually learn to sleep through the night, where as when I feed her, she is back to sleep so quickly she doesn't even lose any sleep.  So despite my wishy washy-ness, Dave moved the bed to the other room and made me PROMISE I wouldn't go to her.   Here's how it happened:
1:37-2:00 whiny and fussy,  "I'm up, come and feed me"
2:00-2:15 full blown crying "Can't you HEAR me?!?!"
2:15 - 3:15  screaming "I'm dying can't you help me!!"
(I'm sure at this point she was standing in her crib and not able to get down and actually fall asleep)
3:15 I am wide awake (Dave is sound asleep) so I decide to get online to get something done while I listen to my daughter longing to help her, and praying the whole time that this will be for hers and my benefit in the end.
3:17 Jackson runs out of the room to find me on the computer, "GOOD MORNING MOM!!"
3:20 Sleeping in bed next to Jackson as he eyes me warily
4:00 Try to sneak out to check on Hallie, Jackson anxiously wonders where I am going and if I will come back
4:05 Hallie is asleep, she is dry, no blood, no vomit, breathing, but with that sad little hiccup when you've been crying WAY too long.    I want to pick her up and tell her sorry!!
4:45 I finally fall asleep and apparently so has Jackson.

7 AM both kids are up for the day. Hallie seems happy, but still tired.  She apparently forgave me. 

So far I just feel really guilty and sad that I made her cry for 2 1/2 hours.  I am still not sure I think it will work, but I am willing to give it a week (ok, maybe 3 days)  If it isn't better tonight, I'm not sure I can take it.  Really, we both get more sleep if I just feed her . . .

Any encouragement?  discouragement?  

Apparently our camera was on really bad setting, but these photos are priceless!

Grandma Doreen and Hallie

 Jackson's first time EVER falling asleep in a place besides his bed or carseat!  Had to snap a photo!!

 Spooky Hallie

She is such a happy baby, I am worried that letting her cry so long will change her personality into a sad or mad baby, will it?  (tell me it won't!!)
I hope I can gain a testimony of this method. . .

My Hallie Gallie - at 6 months

I love this girl so much!  She is so smiley, happy, giggly, and joyful.  Today I wondered if she ever stopped smiling!  I feel like she is a little piece of Heaven.  A ray of sunshine to get us through the trial we are facing.  It is hard to be mad, or sad or self-centered when you have this little girl grinning with her whole body, reaching out for you and snuggling into your shoulder.  I am pretty sure she is trying to give kisses as she grabs my face and comes in for some love.  She looks and looks at someone until they look back and then she gives her best smile.   This video shows her reaction to hearing her name . . . so happy!

I find myself saying little pleading prayers to Heavenly Father that I can keep her forever (too many stories of people who lose their children :( ).   Then I just read this quote and realized I am not the only one.  This is from Elder Holland, " Even that beloved and wonderfully successful parent President Joseph F. Smith pled, “Oh! God, let me not lose my own.”⁸ That is every parent’s cry, and in it is something of every parent’s fear. But no one has failed who keeps trying and keeps praying."

I hold her so tightly and love her with all my heart!  Even at 6 AM when I'd rather be sleeping, her sweet coos are hard to ignore and I get her up and play.

Besides all the happiness she spreads, she is also a mover and a shaker.  She is getting all around and into an updog pose.  She turns, rolls, sits up, crawls, and is so interested in anything she can get her hands on (or even just her HANDS!)  It is such a neat opportunity to watch a child's eyes light up as they discover and learn and grow.  She makes life so fun!  I am so thankful for her in our lives!  (Now I am going to save this post for when she is a teenager and go back and read daily!!)

I've also decided that one of the most joyous moments in a mother's life is to hear all (in my case, TWO) of her kids laughing.  To hear Jackson and Hallie giggling together is so rewarding.  I love it!

6 month Stats: 

Weight: 17 lbs (65%)

Length: 27 in (86%)

One more thing, I asked the Dr about her eating problem.  She always sticks out her tongue and thrusts it at the spoon (whether she likes the food or not).  Thus, most of the food is pushed off of the spoon and it is just a huge mess.  I really cannot get the spoon all the way into her mouth.  She basically tries to lick the food off the spoon.  My Dr. responded with, "Hmmm, that IS a problem . . ." and no further helps, besides that the 'tongue thrust reflex should go away at month 4'.  Any help from other mothers out there?

Head 17 in (67%)

Happy Birthday to Jackson!!

Jackson turned 3 today!  It was such a fun day.  Starting at 6:15 AM (he must have been so excited!)

We hiked around Sundance and had a picnic.  

Jackson took a quiet time and then we had an explorer party.

Decorations: 

Invitation and Costumes of an explorer

Explorer Activities:

(video is me making a fool of myself during a bear hunt through balloons)

 Friends and Family we love

More cake, party and PRESENTS!!  (Jackson got a bike!)

We took Jackson out to eat for a Corn Dog (seriously?!?)  I asked him what he wanted to eat if he could have anything, he said he didn't want to eat . . . I should have thought of that, the best gift we could give him is not making him eat for an entire meal :)

One of my favorite birthday memories was sitting in my moms bed as she looked through our baby books with us and reminisced about our birth into the world and our life growing up.  So I started this with Jackson and he seemed to really enjoy it too.

Maybe others don't see it, but when his eyes light up after he realizes he gets his own 'motorcycle' that is a special feeling for a parent!

Last moments of the day, Jackson is relishing all the attention and love (and presents!)  It was one of those birthdays where I knew I got just the right thing for him!!  (I guess a 3 year old is probably the easiest to please   . . . but also, shows boredom or a lack of interest quickly as well)

Is this really JULY!

We went on a family walk tonight . . . July 10th . . .in  Utah . . .
I wore a sweater . . . with a hood on . . . and still had goose bumps on my arms . . .

Summer . . . can you PLEASE join us here in Utah before September!?!?!
Who would have thought that planning your sons B-day party outside in July was a BAD idea?!?  30% chance of rain during the party :(

I guess we just enjoy the rainbows while we have the rain 

Turning 30

It really wasn't as terrible as I always expected it would be to turn 30.  I had a fantastic day with my hubby.  He made me breakfast, then we took the kids to my moms.  We ate at Tucanos

Then headed up to Park City (If this is sounding familar, it is probably because this is EXACTLY what we did on Dave's b-day 2 weeks previous)  But this time we got to ride the zip line and the bob sled.

It was so much fun.  Then we went back home and Dave told me he was going to make me a special dinner and that I should take the kids to the park for a bit.  When I came back, there was a surprise BBQ for me at the end of our cul-de-sac (Did I mention we moved across the street from our old apartment?)  It was so fun to be with old friends and family! 

So here I begin a new decade . . . Hope it is as good as the last!

Move it like This

My kids are movers! Hallie is crawling at age 5 month 3 weeks and Jackson is riding a big boy bike 2 weeks before he turns 3. I am amazed at how quickly they learn to move and love it.